What Biblical Self-Love Is (And Isn't)

Let’s be real for a second: it’s hard to love yourself when you don’t like what you see in the mirror.

As a Christian girl, you’re constantly caught in the tension between “deny yourself” and “you are fearfully and wonderfully made.” And if you’re anything like I was, you may have heard so much about how self-love is selfish that you started believing taking care of your body didn’t matter. I did. I stopped eating well. I let the bad thoughts run my life. I convinced myself that somehow, hating myself was more holy. That I was supposed to be negative.

But here’s the thing no one told me: there’s a difference between worldly self-love and biblical self-worth.

Yes, there is a kind of self-love that’s prideful and self-centered — the kind that says, “I’m the best, and I don’t need God or anyone else.” And that kind of thinking is shallow and dangerous because it focuses on me as the best thing.

But then there’s the kind of self-love that’s rooted in truth: in the fact that we were made on purpose by a God who doesn’t make mistakes - who made us in his own image. (Gen 1:27) A kind of self-respect that says, “God created my body, and He calls it good — so I’ll take care of it like it matters.” That’s not pride; it's honor and obedience.

God’s View of You is Clear

Let’s go back to the very beginning. In Genesis, when God created the world, He called everything “good.” And when He created humans, He called us very good. Yes, sin broke that original design — but through Jesus's sacrifice, that brokenness doesn’t get the last word.

If you’ve put your faith in Christ, the Bible says you’ve been made new. You’ve been adopted. You’ve been redeemed. Ephesians 1 tells us that in Christ, we are:

• Chosen

• Holy

• Blameless

• Loved

• Redeemed

• Sealed with the Holy Spirit

That’s not just a nice sentiment. That’s who you are in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3-14)

And here's something that still blows my mind: because of Christ’s righteousness, God sees you as He sees Jesus.
Let that sink in. The same love the Father has for His Son — He has for you.

You are not disgusting. You are not unwanted. You are not too much or not enough.
You are His.

Before You Love Others...

We often hear, “Love your neighbor.” But we forget the second part: “as yourself.” (Mark 12:31)

If we’re called to love others with compassion, grace, and patience… wouldn’t it make sense that we need to extend those same things to ourselves? To fill our cup before we pour it out?

Not because we’re perfect. But because God made us on purpose — and He doesn’t mess up.

When we care for ourselves, we’re not being selfish. We’re being obedient. We’re recognizing the image of God in us, and we’re treating it with the reverence it deserves.

What You Need to Do About It

So where do we go from here? How do we start to believe this truth, especially when our minds seem to say otherwise?

Here’s what I’ve learned — and what I’m still working on myself:

1. Take care of your body.

Not because you want to “look better,” but because your body matters to God and therefore, it matters to you.
Eat nourishing foods. Go for walks. Take showers. Stretch. Rest.
This isn’t about perfection, it's about trying.

2. Write down the truth and speak it out loud.

Seriously. Make a list of what the Bible says about you and read it. Tape it to your mirror. Let your voice be louder than your doubts. Memorize Scripture verses about your worth and use them whenever you feel down about yourself.

3. Go love others well.

This isn’t just about you. When we learn to love ourselves through the lens of God’s grace, we get to show others how to do the same.
It’s not pride — it’s ministry. We can show others how to love because we have been loved.

Final Thoughts

If you’re reading this and struggling with the girl you see in the mirror, please know this: God doesn’t regret making you. He doesn’t look at you with disappointment. He looks at you with delight.

You were created on purpose, in His image, and redeemed by His Son. That means your worth isn’t defined by your waistline, your acne, your social status, or your mistakes.

You are loved. You are chosen. You are whole in Him.

And the next time you’re tempted to tear yourself down, I hope you’ll remember that self-love rooted in Christ isn’t wrong. It’s worship. 💛

-Victoria

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