Things I Didn't Learn At Church: Depression & Anxiety

Depression and Faith: What I Wish I Knew Sooner

Depression is something I wish I had heard about in church — not in whispers, not in vague prayer requests, but in real conversations. The kind that look you in the eye and say, “You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And God still loves you, right in the middle of this.” I wish I had known that having depression doesn't mean that you are less of a person, or that it's something that can be prayed away.

This post isn’t meant to be the whole conversation. It’s just the beginning — a foundation for more to come. But it’s also personal. Because for a long time, I didn’t have the words, or the space, or the courage to talk about it. And maybe you haven’t either. That's why this post is for you and why we're finally going to open up the conversation.

What I Didn’t Learn in Church

I knew of depression and anxiety growing up. I knew people who struggled with them — and who were on medication — but all I really heard was that “something was wrong” and they “needed help.” It was said with concern, but also with distance.

No one ever really explained what those words meant. And in the quiet, I started forming my own ideas: depression = sadness, anxiety = fear, and both were... spiritual issues.

Now, I’m not blaming anyone. I was only 11 at the time, and people were doing their best. This isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s just about shining a light. Because I truly believe depression and anxiety are still not talked about enough — especially inside the church.

When It Got Personal

I was 15 the first time I heard someone talk about suicide. It was a deep conversation with someone I cared about, and I remember walking away feeling heartbroken and confused.

But it wasn’t until later that I realized I wasn’t just observing someone else’s pain. I was starting to feel it myself.

I remember driving home late one night with my boyfriend (now husband) and finally saying it out loud:
“I think I have depression.”

I remember taking one of those online depression quizzes while on a family trip — not really expecting anything — and getting every answer “right.” It hit me like a brick. Suddenly, it wasn’t theoretical. It was me. I felt like everything should feel different, yet I mostly felt like me. I wasn't suddenly a sinner or weak. I was just a person who struggled.

And yet, for a long time, only three people knew. Because saying it felt like admitting defeat. Like maybe I wasn’t a good enough Christian. Like maybe I wasn’t strong enough.

But here’s the truth:
Depression doesn’t mean you’re weak.
And it definitely doesn’t mean you’re faithless.

3 Things I’ve Learned About Depression (the Hard Way)

1. It doesn’t just go away.

Depression isn’t something you “snap out of.” It ebbs and flows. There are good days and really dark ones. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. And that’s okay.

2. Medication can be necessary.

I believe in prayer. I believe in healing. But I also believe that God can work through practical means — including therapy, medication, and help. There is no shame in using what God has made available.

3. Getting help is hard, but necessary.

It takes courage to speak up. To ask for help. To tell a friend you’re not okay. But when we isolate ourselves, the darkness feels even heavier. You need people in your life who can lovingly challenge you, remind you of what’s true, and walk with you through it.

What the Church Needs to Remember

Depression and anxiety are real. They are not made-up, overblown, or “unspiritual.” People who struggle with them are not weak Christians or bad examples. They’re humans — made in the image of God, deeply loved, and often fighting invisible battles.

There are different spectrums, yes. And different stories. But every single one deserves to be seen. And the church — we — are called to be a body that carries each other’s burdens. That loves without conditions. That creates space for honesty, healing, and help.

That love should exist outside the church.
But it should definitely exist inside it, too.

If You’re Struggling Right Now

If you’ve been silently carrying this, here’s what I hope you’ll remember:

• You don’t have to tell everyone everything. But bring someone into the loop. Someone you trust. You were never meant to carry this alone.

• You are not less of a person because of it. Depression doesn’t define your identity. Jesus does.

• There is light at the end of the tunnel. There will be good days again. Maybe not right away. Maybe not all at once. But they will come.

It’s okay to need help.
It’s okay to cry until your chest hurts.
It’s okay to call your best friend at 2 a.m.
It’s okay to say, “I’m not okay.”

And it’s also okay to believe that healing is possible — even if it is slow.

Want to go deeper?

Listen to the episode wherever you get your podcasts and uncover the full story.